


How This World Can Overcome a Man

by violetshade



Series: Blinded In Chains [30]
Category: Avenged Sevenfold
Genre: Brothers forever, F/M, M/M, depressed shads, drinking and drugs don't mix well, shads fucks up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 08:48:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13232241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetshade/pseuds/violetshade
Summary: Shadows pisses everyone off."We are in this life together! Living it because he didn't get to!"





	How This World Can Overcome a Man

Late the following morning, Violet was the first one to wake up--wondering if she might still be drunk. Zacky's brightly colored arms encircled her and Brooks lay next to her, Johnny snuggled up on his other side. She slowly sat up to figure out they were in her room and to see Jade and Syn curled up on the floor. No Shadows. She snuggled back into Zacky, mumbling up against his chest, "Where's Shads?"  
He didn't open his eyes, "Hmmm..? I dunno, Vi...go back to sleep..." Violet wanted to know, considering anything could happen after a night like the previous one. She quietly got up, despite Zacky insistently pulling her back towards him.  
Stumbling into his room, she found him splayed out on his bed, still completely dressed. As she got closer, though, her heart rate picked up when she saw a prescription bottle barely hiding in one of his large hands.  
Rushing to him, she jumped on the bed and then straddled his torso, jarring him awake. Even though he awoke, she started yelling.  
"Guys! Get in here now!!" Her voice was panicked as she hit his chest with her fists, getting angrier by the second as tears fell down her face.  
When she grabbed the bottle, Shadows desperately tried to get it back. When the guys all rushed in, they were still flailing around--her in his lap as he sat up trying to wrestle the bottle back. Matt finally stopped, sitting back and lowering his eyes.  
Violet choked out a sob when she read the label.  
SULLIVAN, JAMES. DIAZEPAM. EXP. 12/10.  
Her eyes looked at him even though he refused to look up at any of them.  
"How dare you?" She cried helplessly. Had the other night meant nothing to him?  
That's when the boys all crowded around the bed. Syn grabbed the bottle next. When he realized what it was, he angrily threw it at the wall and it popped open, pills going everywhere.  
"How many of these did you take, Shads!?!" His voice was booming, furious.  
Matt just shook his head and barely whispered, "I don't remember...I don't know..."  
Syn pulled Violet off of him, "Go pull the trigger. Now."  
M. looked embarrassed and still couldn't look up. After a few seconds, he realized he needed to do what they asked and sulkingly went to his bathroom. The group waited while he threw up a couple of times, brushed his teeth, and eventually came back out.  
Shadows hesitantly looked into the eyes of his brothers and immediately felt huge waves of guilt wash over him. They all stood there staring at him, rage and sadness in their eyes. Violet, though, stood by the glass door to his patio, tears running down her face. He slowly walked to her.  
When he reached out to touch her, she exploded.  
"That's _LITERALLY EXACTLY_ how he died, Matt!!!"  
Syn stepped up next to Violet, "What the fuck, Shads?! You know what it would do to us if you left, too!? How could you possibly be this selfish!?" A tear slipped down Gates' cheek. Zacky pulled at Syn's hand, putting an arm around his waist.  
"Yeah, Matt. How could you hurt us like this?" Zack's voice was softer, barely a whisper. Johnny just stared at Matt sadly as Jade leaned up against him.  
Shadows swallowed hard, his big shoulders sagging, "I...there's nothing I can say guys...I was just fine until I woke up in the middle of the night, with this emptiness inside....I miss him so much, and--" He couldn't let on this had anything to do with her, too, "I--I just wanted to feel better, I was too drunk to think--to think that..." He couldn't say it, "I am so sorry, guys...I would never do that to you on purpose, just like he never would have..." His voice was low, his eyes on the ground and his hands in his pockets.  
Johnny finally spoke up, "I can't believe you kept those all these years. Is this why?" It was angry.  
"No, I swear...it was just...I kept as many things of his as I could."  
The boys started to calm down, especially when they saw the regret in Matt's eyes. Except for Syn--he was livid and stormed out.  
"We should probably take you to the hospital," Zacky looked back at Shadows as he started to follow Syn. Jade was following Synyster as well and Zacky stopped her, "Let me deal with this...please?" He pleaded with her. Jade knew this one would be better left for him anyway.  
Shadows glanced at Violet again, this time tugging harder at her elbow. She fell, crying, against his chest as he held her tightly, "I'm really sorry, Vi...you deserve better." He kissed the top of her head, a tear now rolling down his cheek, "Man, have I fucked up, guys. I'm so sorry..."  
"Now we're going to have to watch you like a hawk," Brooks added.  
"C'mon, guys--it's not like that--" He let go of Violet and started to protest but stopped when he saw the furious looks in all their eyes, "Whatever you guys want. I'm okay, but if it makes you guys less angry at me, I'll do anything."  
  
Zacky found Synyster in the extra living room in Matt's wing of the house, leaning with both hands against the wall, sobbing. He quickly walked up behind him and tugged him into a hug, which Syn was more than happy to be in. Gates' hands held around Zack's waist and his head into his shoulder.  
"Just...how could he...after all we've been through..."  
Vengeance thought of defending him, but knew Syn just had to vent for awhile, so Zacky held him back, rubbing his back as they hugged each other. Once Gates' crying stopped, Zack pulled away, looked into Syn's brown, watery eyes, and then brought his lips down to his. They both immediately found comfort in the soft, deep kiss, and wrapped one another closer. It wasn't passionate, just consoling. After a few moments they stopped and Zacky let go.  
"You know he's gonna come in here. Give him a break. I'm not defending his actions, but we were completely trashed last night."  
Syn just nodded and let him leave.  
  
Sure enough, Vengeance ran into Shadows in the hallway.  
"Zacky...I'm..." He stopped and looked down at his rhythm guitarist, hand pulling at the back of his neck nervously.  
Zack just wrapped his arms around Matt, "I'm glad you're okay, Matt." And he walked away.  
  
"Syn..." Shadows walked up to him until they were almost touching, "I'm sorry you're taking this personally--"  
"Why shouldn't I, Shads?!" His big brown eyes looked straight back at Matt, making M. feel so much worse, "We are in this life together! Living it because he didn't get to!"  
"You don't think I know that!?" Matt grabbed his wrist, "I know it's an insult to him to ever put my life at that much risk, that's why I feel awful. I swear I didn't do it thinking I was in any danger, I just wanted to feel good..."  
"You seemed fine last night, man, what changed?" Gates finally softened a little.  
Matt let go of his wrist, "Yesterday, on and off all day....I've felt so guilty..." He looked away from Syn's curious eyes, "I feel like Jimmy would tell me to be with Violet because she makes me happy, and lately I feel like I'm betraying him by not being with her." Shads was caught off guard when Syn wrapped him in his arms.  
"I'm sorry, man, I didn't realize this had anything to do with her," He whispered into the larger man's shoulder before letting him go.  
"These days, everything has to do with her," Matt slumped against a chair, looking at the floor and folding his arms as his brow furrowed, "We were together a few nights ago, and...it was...like, soul shaking." He shook his head, "This is why we shouldn't sleep together--it's just going to pull me deeper in."  
Gates didn't want to say what needed to be said, but knew he had to, "You just have to remember that she makes you happy right now, but if you guys were together, she'd eventually break your heart. I know Jimmy would tell you to go for it anyway, but it doesn't make it the right decision--just the easy one."  
"Yeah....thanks for understanding, Brian."  
  
He walked back in his bedroom to find her curled up on his bed. Climbing on behind her, he put an arm around her, "I'm sorry I'm such an ass, Shade...I actually had a really great time with you last night."  
She leaned back into him, "Good. So did I...you just had me so fucking scared there for a minute, Matt."  
"I know..."  
  
That day, and for days after, she didn't let him out of her sight, and neither did any of the guys. Even when he went to the bathroom, they paid attention to make sure he wasn't in there very long. This annoyed him to no end, but he knew he deserved it. That night they all stayed up pretty late, but eventually everybody went home and Violet followed Matt to his bedroom.  
"You really should sleep in your own room, Vi. I'm fine." He bit his lip, "I just...I can't emotionally deal with another night like the other night." His voice was soft--embarrassed that he was so emotionally invested in her. But the connection they had made the other night in bed together-he couldn't keep doing that.  
"Matt, I'll leave you alone, I swear. I'm not letting you sleep without me, though."  
He caved. He shouldn't be sleeping with her either. Waking up next to her just reminded him of how much he wanted to do that every single fucking day. A couple of hours later, when he was still awake and she was fast asleep, he carried her delicately into her own room and put her to bed. He just needed some time to himself.


End file.
